Desde que somos niños comenzamos a experimentar ese sentimiento que recibe muchos nombres y que nos provoca sensaciones de incomodidad y desencanto: ira, coraje, furia, rabia… que luego desemboca en otro tipo de experiencia más compleja: rencor, odio, desprecio, venganza. Todo ello, en resumen, nos lleva a grandes momentos de frustración y a dañar nuestro entorno y a las personas que nos rodean.
En los tiempos actuales se habla mucho del “controlar la ira”, como una necesidad para que el afectado no traspase límites, aprenda a tomar control de sus emociones y no caiga en las garras del “lado oscuro”.
En la película “Star Wars, una nueva esperanza”, cuando el mítico personaje Darth Vader le pide a Luke Skywalker que se deje llevar por la ira que siente y se “entregue” al lado oscuro que él representa, para hacerse más poderoso, estamos viendo una alegoría de lo que la rabia y su falta de control mental pueden desencadenar en nuestras vidas.
Los niños lo aprenden de manera innata, producto de la frustración que les provoca cuando se les niega algo que ellos quieren. Sus conocidos berrinches son solo una de las variadas formas que adquiere la rabia que domina nuestros cerebros. Ellos aprenden a controlarlo de manera igualmente natural, porque tienen el apoyo del entorno familiar, pero en la edad adulta las cosas se ponen más difíciles.
Controlar la ira
La Psicología ha llegado a la conclusión de que nuestro coraje irracional surge cuando se frustran nuestros deseos o nuestras expectativas. Si otra persona, un objeto o una situación específica se interpone en nuestro camino para conseguir algo importante para nosotros, se detona una reacción emocional que nos lleva a experimentar un sentimiento de ira o rabia descontrolada.
Algunas de las características de este tipo de sentimientos dieron lugar a que estudiosos del fenómeno hicieran una clasificación para ubicar mejor el problema. Así, entendiendo que la ira surge cuando el cerebro percibe que hay un obstáculo, el mismo se torna en ofensa, frustración de un deseo o amenaza de un daño más importante.
1. Indignación.
Es la ira ante una injusticia o algo que ocurre que no debería ocurrir de ese modo, es un sentimiento ético.
2. Agravio.
Es un sentimiento similar a la indignación, que hace sentir a la persona herida, lastimada o agredida frente a un hecho injusto.
3. Humillación.
Se convierte en ira debido a la ofensa que se percibe, y psicológicamente se asocia con la lucha por ganar reconocimiento.
4. Malhumor.
Es la ira contenida y pasiva, que se experimenta “por dentro” y responde a situaciones que molestan al afectado, que proyecta su estado con actitudes hirientes en su entorno.
5. Hastío.
Ocurre cuando la ira se convierte en hartazgo, enfado, cansancio y aburrimiento ante una situación o una persona molesta.
6. Exasperación.
Luego de haber aguantado demasiado tiempo una situación incómoda, o a una persona insistente, el afectado comienza a perder la paciencia y a enojarse.
7. Rencor o resentimiento.
Se da cuando la ira es auto reprimida, no se expresa abiertamente y se convierte en un sentimiento más “oscuro” y duradero.
8. Odio.
Esta clase de ira es más intensa que el rencor simple. A la vez, entraña mayor daño emocional y psicológico para el afectado. Su falta de control puede generar acciones de alto riesgo.
9. Repugnancia y desprecio.
El rechazo hacia personas o situaciones determinadas produce estas reacciones en el afectado, que pueden derivar en manifestaciones abiertamente ofensivas y dañinas.
10. Despecho.
Es una forma de la ira muy delicada, pues aunque es un sentimiento interno se puede expresar y materializar como venganza pensada y planificada.
11. Cólera o furia.
Es una manifestación de la ira donde se deja de lado la compostura y puede producir acciones agresivas y hasta de venganza.
El manejo y control
¿Quién no conoce a Hulk, el personaje de cómic que se “pone verde” de coraje y se vuelve fuerte y poderoso cuando la ira lo domina? Aunque él lo hace para luchar contra el mal, en nuestra sociedad los Hulk son vistos como “políticamente incorrectos”.
Por ello los científicos del comportamiento y la terapia emocional tienen sus recomendaciones para controlar la ira:
1. Espera a relajarte un poco para intentar resolver el conflicto que detonó la ira.
2. Pensar antes de hacer o decir algo nos ayuda a bajar la intensidad de la ira quae sentimos. Se trata de tomar un “tiempo fuera” para recobrar la calma.
3. Una vez en calma, se debe analizar el origen de la ira, pensando en prevenir otro ataque descontrolado.
4. Considerar que a veces las personas no tienen conciencia de que nos quieren molestar, sino que tienen otras costumbres, otros valores o simplemente no saben que sus conductas nos pueden resultar molestas o dañinas.
5. Acudir a terapia para aprender a conocer la naturaleza y función de la agresividad y descontrol de la ira, con el fin de establecer estrategias más adecuadas para controlarla y dominarla.
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